Housewife Pet Peeves

10. You get asked what's for dinner before the breakfast dishes are dry.
9. Laundry is a never ending battle. It grows exponentially!
8. Coats, hats, and shoes junking up the entry way. 3 per person.
7. Don't forget to scrape those plates and check those pockets! Food left on dishes, well that is just gross. And the pockets...I learned the hard way. Receipts turned into a crumbled paper mess all over clothes and in the lint tray, an hour spent scraping bubble gum out of the dryer, and last but not least, a dryer drum stripped in blue ball point pen. I repeat CHECK THOSE POCKETS! Sometimes you get lucky and find money...finders keepers I say.
6.Things seem to stop short of their final destination. If dishes and/or dirty laundry do manage to not be left all around the house they do not make it all the way.They end up on the counter beside the sink or in the floor by the hamper.
5. Mom is the only one that can declare something trash. This includes but is not limited to: shampoo/conditioner/body wash bottles, paper towel & toilet paper rolls, anything that is empty in the fridge, and sometimes actual TRASH. Bottles, cans, wrappers, etc.
4. The Navigational system of the home. Yes we know exactly where everything is in the entire house, so just ask I will direct you the quickest route possible. (Sometimes I provide the scenic tour for my amusement only)
3. Continuation of #4. Stuff does not get put back where it came from. Everything has a place, but we are the only ones that know that.
2. Hair! It is everywhere, especially when you have enough for 3 heads like I do. You may think I am gross or even crazy, but if you do not know what I am talking about then try to clean your bathroom and not leave one strand of hair. Yes it can be done, but it is frustrating none-the-less. You can sweep, mop, dust, vacuum, get on your hands and knees and wipe, wipe, wipe...it shall return.
1. "You're a stay-at-home mom. What do you do all day?"
PLEASE do no insult me by asking this question or even thinking it. Trust me I do plenty. In fact I never get accomplished everything on the "to do" list and it carries over to the following day. And NO I do not sit and eat bon-bon's, talk on the phone (well I guess its Facebook now), and watch soap operas all day. My work is never finished, no weekends, no holiday's, no vacation days. I am a cook, a baker, a housekeeper, a nurse, a teacher, an accountant, a manager, an organizer, a planner, Mrs. fix-it, a chauffeur, and a locator of stuff. Most importantly I am a MOM, and that is the best job in the world. I get to spend the day taking care of my baby. Playing with her, teaching her, and watching her grow. Do not get me wrong, I do not look down on any working mother; therefore do not judge me for staying home. Some may choose to work and some may have to work. Thankfully I have the luxury of staying home, and I love it.

I guess you don't have to be a housewife or a stay-at-home mom to have some pet peeves. And I have plenty of flaws myself so we won't even go there. I applaud those who work and take care of their children and home. I also commend mothers with more than one child, because my 3 month old keeps me hopping. I am very thankful for my job, my family, and my home. These are all in good fun (except for #2 & #1 they really do irk me).

*no husbands or children were harmed in the making of this blog post.

4:03 and a little irony

It is the wee hours of this Wednesday morning and I have not slept since Aaron left Tuesday morning for PA, once again without is faithful sidekick.
Our Phone Bedtime Routine: I stay up and wait for his highly anticipated call when he gets off work and turns in for the night (around 12am). We share a short but sweet goodnight, and then it is off to our beds separated by miles and state lines. Well tonight was no different, we said our "I love you's" and then I took that lonely walk to our bedroom (not completely alone I did have Cocoa & Bentley). Anyway I settled into the middle of the bed, because I hate to lay on my side when his side empty. I read some and planned on drifting off to sleep, because reading past 9PM usually makes me drowsy. This did not work, so finally I grabbed the TV remote to see if anything worth watching was on. Sometimes we like to watch the History channel at night, although very educational and interesting, it can be somewhat of a sedative at times. I turned it to the guide channel which plays music and the song playing was If You Only Knew by Shinedown. It is actually a break up song, but part of the chorus fits this situation perfectly:

It's 4:03 and I can't sleep
Without you next to me I
Toss and turn like the sea

IRONY: I glance at the clock and it was actually 3:03, so in our version we are an hour ahead. AND as previously posted in mine an Aaron's story Good Ole Boy meets Country Girl I told about our date to an outdoor concert. At this concert the main act was Shinedown which both of us were anxious to see, but there were several bands that had to perform first. At this concert we had our first fight and we left the concert early and never got to see the band perform. SO...

1. Shinedown + Kristin + Aaron = disaster! At that moment we wanted to be anywhere else in the world instead of a truck with each other.
2. Shinedown + Kristin - Aaron = Sad. Because at this moment there is no one else in the world I would rather have here with me.

Music is tied to memory and this song got my mind turning, and even though it was a little sad because I miss him so much, it also sparked a little grin because we have came a very long way from that day in the park, at an outdoor concert, the scene of our very first fight.

I know it is a little silly, but hey I haven't slept in 20+ hours.
GOODNIGHT!

A Tale of a Sock

Socks are great! Something soft, comfortable, warm, and they keep our feet from making our shoes smell so bad, and keep our shoes from rubbing places on our feet. What a wonderful invention! Now this is where things get a little tricky, meet the washer/dryer an even better invention than socks. No more scrubbing on a washboard, ringing out on your hands, and hanging clothes on a clothes line. Technology today has even made this household chore more convenient. No more ringer washers (which I do remember) and clothes pins and lines (which I still use on occasion), so if you have the luxury of owning a washer and dryer, and most do especially in America, or if not there are these businesses called laundry mats that have many of these machines, unless you live in a rural area I guess. Point being laundry is no longer the all day chore that it used to be. The hardest part according to me would be mating socks! See socks and the washer/dryer are wonderful when they are apart, but put them together and they become a thorn in a housewives side.  Everyone who has ever done laundry understands what I am talking about here. A load of laundry goes in the washer with presumably all socks having mates, and then into the dryer for a quick tumble, now it is time to fold and mate socks. This is one of my least favorite things to do, mate socks, especially since it seems that all of our socks are completely different. (I have to admit if they are half way similar I mate them). So the pile of socks is slowly getting smaller and smaller, and suddenly there are no more matches, but there are socks left over. How does this happen? Why are there so many lone socks left without a mate? Where could these lone socks be?

There are a few theories to explain this phenomenon:

3. Not all of the socks make it into the washer with their mate. Well wasn’t that a simple answer to explain this problem that all laundry doers face. If only it were that simple, and boring.

2. The most common & obvious culprit in the case of the missing sock – The Dryer did it, in the laundry room.

1.  BUT I have another theory, what if the second theory is just what the washer wants you to believe. Walk a mile in the socks, sock if you will. All socks along with mate go into the washer, you choke them with that laundry detergent you insist on pouring on top of them, then the lid closes and everything turns black. What is that sound that, rushing, gushing, sound. Why am I all wet!?! Here comes the water filling the washer tub, and if you have a top loader as do I…it’s a lot of water. So needless to say you are drowning your socks. Hopefully you are using cold water or you are boiling them in the hot, and may even shrink them a size. Oh help them if you are using BLEACH! They are holding their breath in the dark, in this sudsy water then out comes this foul, potent chemical that burns the dirt right off of them. If this isn’t enough torture for a life time the agitator begins to move, back and forth, back and forth. Well we know what an agitator is and its purpose, but to socks how are they to know that this is normal and is getting them clean. This crazy shaped, hard, anchored piece is throwing them to and fro. I’m sure their heads are hurting. Socks have a “toe” end why can’t they have a “head” end. At last a moment of relief, the agitator has stopped, and the water is slowly draining out. They may be thinking, I’m all sudsy but at least I’m not moving and I can breathe. Oh wait this horrible ride is not over, the tub begins to fill again, freezing water, why are we spinning. Faster and faster, round and round they go. Now the socks are completely disoriented and smothered by all the other clothes, the water, and chemicals you have exposed them to. On the other foot they are very clean and fresh, but wait is this terrible experience over? Please say it is over! Mr.  & Mrs. Sock begin to discuss what has taken place, this horrible, insane torture they have had to endure for what seemed like forever. Mrs. Sock decides she can not live like this anymore and they must escape. Mr. Sock states that he can not betray his owners. True they walk on me, throw me, step in who knows what with me, the dog likes to chew on me, and I lay in a dark dreary hamper with a lot of smelly dirty clothes piled on top of me, but I am a Sock, my father was a sock, my father was a holey sock, rest his tattered sock soul, and his father before him was a sock, and so on and so on. I belong to my owners; they paid good money for me. I have duties to uphold to cover their feet, keep them warm, and mediate between their feet and shoes. I can not, I will not leave them! Mrs. (insert name) will be so upset! Well Mrs. Sock had stopped listening some were around “dirty clothes”, and jumped on the wild, exciting ride with a few other rebel socks and rode the rinse water all the way out the drain. The water was gone, the machine had stopped, and the lid was lifting exposing the wet, cold wash to the light. Mr. Sock realized his Mrs. Sock was gone, she was gone! He was all alone and he began to weep. No one could tell because he was already wet, so off Mr. Sock went to tumble away in the dryer and dry his tears.  

 So the next time you get upset because you have a few lone socks without mates, put yourself in the socks, sock. Because let’s be honest there are a lot worse things in the world than non-matching socks.

Housework Blues

Oh prince charming where are you?
Come whisk me away from all theses chores I must do
The washing, the drying, the folding too
The sweeping, the dusting, the dishes BOO!
I see you now with hair so dark & eyes so bright
Coming to save me from this dreadful sight
You make me complete, you make me whole
I love you my darling with all of my heart & soul!

I FINALLY sat down this morning with my morning cup of coffee, and took a look around my teeny tiny house that looks like wild animals have been inhabiting since Aaron (my hubby) and I have been traveling so much lately. I couldn't help but sigh and frown. Then in through the door walks my dark haired, green eyed, handsome husband who doesn't say a word about our home flipped upside down, and begins smiling and playing with our 2 dogs. They just brighten my day!